with your own penis?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
