lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you didnt know i had herpes?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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