Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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