i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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