I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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