At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
