Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize