I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
