i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
