Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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