Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
