Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
