Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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