I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
