I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
