apparently the secret to your success is patron
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize