cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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