D3 body, D1 cock
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
