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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ew, did you brush them again?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?

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• (914): View more from New York

  is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway

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