I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
how drunk are you?
Several
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
