can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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