Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
