It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
