where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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