I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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