New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
is wine microwaveable?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
