I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
