her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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