I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
