Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
