Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
