am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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