i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
