i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
