At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
