people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
