He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
