There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
