Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
