1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
