I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize