OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
