it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
