Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
