It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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