What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
