Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
