I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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