You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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