A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
