I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
