Everything about him screamed your future.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
