Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
