Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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