drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
