Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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