I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
