are you still at the devil's house?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
