When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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