so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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