You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
