Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
