i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
