You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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