I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
