dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
