life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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