I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
