I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
